Hello new adventure - farewell to Disney

The room where my new beginning started -  layed off and free from constraints  - FREEK OUT

January 29th 2013 I was layed off from Disney.  This was not the first time but i know it will be my last because i will never allow myself to be sucked into that again.  I wouldn't change a thing except for perhaps the length of time i was there but it was an amazing adventure.

But now it's time to bring to life the dream i've had for so long.  as the years have passed and i've raised my babies to 7 and 10 i've become more and more aware of who i am and what i want to do.  i've been looking for a way to merge all of my interests and make waking up to a new day be something other that sluffing along to the beeline and blindly creating art for yet another video or online game.  Good lord i was ready and the universe made sure i will now listen to my voice.

Now i'm not saying i wasn't extremely proud and honored to work for Disney for 18 years.  the biggest loss i feel is the the daily mingling with the amazing people i got to work alongside.  that's what it affords you.  you get to create and learn next to some amazing talent, good lord when i think of it.  But problem was i couldn't even enjoy that any longer.  i was creatively dead.  that happens when you become more fully you and realize why you're here on this earth, hear the call and then ignore it.

I am a very busy mom.  For the past 10 years or so i've been the main breadwinner and mom to my 2 kids.  Nough said right?   i know there are women who do even more but for ME, this was too much to leave much room for creating art.  i did manage to create but mostly when i would take a vacation or a class and then sporadically on a weekend.  But then my family got largely ignored.  and then there was the creative needs of my husband, it seemed we were both always needing more creative time than there simply was time for.

And so here i am, no more full time job and the rest of my life before me.  And there's this blog.  i will now come here to post about my experience along this new road.  and how i will find my way.

i have a huge idea and it perfectly melds all of my interests together.  i am terrified to execute it and so it makes perfect sense to me to simply write down all of my frustrations and struggles right here as i face my task.

Today:  it is a beautiful Sunday and there are 3 very loud kids playing in the next room with my husband.  i have a birthday party to plan for the next weekend and a full time freelance job to work on with the husband all week. 

My first step is already started but I need a plan to make sure it happens little…by…little.

sketchbook

Thought I'd post some of the sketches I've been working on while riding the bus back and forth. So many creative outlets are presenting themselves to me, i truly feel the gentle calling and i am walking along the path again. i get lost but pick it back up. it's been 7 years since Julian was born and I've been on another planet but i'm slowly getting back in the waters of creation. someone told me when i first got pregnant that i'd have to stop for awhile at least 5 years my kids would need all of me...and i remember i shuddered standing there with my paintbrush wondering how the heck i'd stop. i don't think she was entirely correct though because you can stay creative even with small children just i different ways. so for now i am sketching and painting and moving closer and closer back to my oils but now my life is bigger and fuller and so the mediums i work in have grown too. my gardening saved my life during the times i wasn't drawing or painting. i don't know why i stopped for so long. it's ridiculous...why would you stop something that save you from going into the depths? so the sketching, and the visual journaling, the life drawing at work, the little painting group i found just recently, and the artistic mothers online group. these people and places are keeping my spark alive....

Visual Journaling

it's keeping me alive. i'm taking a class offered by my work and taught by a wonderful photograper/artist named Evah Hart. She's an amazing person and this is the second time i've taken her class. it's been a constant challenge to balance art, motherhood, work. But when i sit down to create something and it doesn't matter what happens just something, putting pen to paper, putting paint somewhere, cutting pasting...it acts as a lifeline to art making. because i feel it's so important to create every day and so challenging the small tasks that we work on in the class are so perfect for my daily life. i'm already sketching so much daily on the bus and now the class and working on the journaling when i can and the life drawing once a week and the project i want to create. things seems to be in a very creative place right now...and interestingly enough..i seem to be happier than ever before. hmmmm.

Every day just a little bit, every day put pencil to paper. Keep the spark alive little by little. It matters

so i'm posting some stuff because i need to remind myself what i am here for. i've been sketching on the bus and that's about it. and i'm aching to begin some new work. so i keep it going.